Failure

Context: written about a year after the Frozen II epilogue.

Dear Mama and Papa,

I’ve been living in the Forest for nearly a year now. It’s…well, some days I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be and other days it just feels a bit…stale? I’m not sure if that’s the right word.

I feel like I’ve had these different mountain-top moments in my life. Particularly, when I ran from the Duke of Weselton to the North Mountain, creating my castle, and then when I first made it into Ahtohallan and saw you, Mother.

I abdicated the throne to Anna and I’ve been in the Forest ever since. And it’s nice. But, sometimes, I wonder what I’m here doing.

I can’t help but wonder if I just abdicated to escape the responsibilities. Was I just taking the easy way out?

But no, I have to remind myself why I’m here. It’s not just that I love being in the Enchanted Forest and being near Ahtohallan; I set out to be here to help make amends for the past, for the atrocities of Grandfather.

It turns out that this is a lot harder than it seemed. At first, everyone was so happy about the mist being lifted, it seemed like we could make reparations with ease. The people of Arendelle supported me and Anna in forging a new relationship with the Northuldra. And while we all respect each other, I just thought coming to some sort of treaty with offerings to the Northuldra would be easy.

When I look back, I see how Grandfather was so horrible, causing a brutal slaughter, for what? For nothing. It was out of spite and fear. The Northuldra spent decades separated from the Spirits, which are integral to their history and culture. They were isolated from the world. They had lost so many they love because of the hate of someone who wished to take advantage of them.

And the Arendellians are clear that they value the Northuldra and wish to support them. It just–I just thought it would be easier than this. Maybe that was me being naive.

I thought we’d have things worked out by now. And yet it all feels completely out of reach. I can’t help but feel like I’m failing. I look at all the things I’ve done, and then I cannot seem to facilitate an agreement between these two groups. I sometimes wonder if all I’m good for is making pretty ice sculptures.

Papa, I remember you once sharing how running a kingdom wasn’t easy. You would tell me that you’d put on a strong face for the people, and it was only because of Mama’s strength that you could get up the next day.

Sometimes, in the mornings, I lie in bed and wonder what those conversations were like. What were you saying to him, Mama? And what was it that inspired you to get up and keep going each day, Papa?

Today, I especially miss you both.

Love,
Elsa

Note: While my work has always been inspired by my dear friend DaimonLyra and her work Frozen Moments, the concepts here are particularly influenced by DaimonLyra’s ideas about what post-Frozen II might look like.

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