Context: this was written the evening of the featurette Olaf’s Frozen Adventure.
Dear Mama and Papa,
It was long ago, we would ring the bell…wow, a lot has changed.
Today was hard.
As I sit at my desk gazing out the window, the northern lights reflecting on the glass panes, I think of the times that I did have with you. And I reflect on the times I won’t have with you.
I miss you so much. I feel the pain in my stomach and the middle of my chest. Tears stain my journal, blurring the ink letters together.
Mama, I miss the nights when I couldn’t sleep and you’d wrap me in your shawl, holding me close. We would look out at the northern lights guessing at which magical creatures might be creating the display. You could always quell the storm inside of me when my anxiety was spiraling. You were the rock I clung to.
Papa, I miss how you would tenderly hold my hands, looking into my eyes with strength and love. You made me feel human, not a monster. I loved learning to ride horses with you, galloping through the fields. You always told me to follow my heart, to find my destiny. I’m trying to do that, and I think of you every day.
I miss you.
As I look around, my heart is full. Full of memories; full of pain. Pain from missing out on a childhood with my sister… A memory of me and mama laughing as we baked cookies and somehow dough ended up on the ceiling… Knowing I’ll never get to ask you about so many things…
Sometimes I feel like being strong means acting like I’m fine. And I remember that’s a lie you warned me of. Because everything isn’t fine. You were supposed to be here this holiday.
And I do have my family around me. Anna fuels the fire of my spirit, reminding me of what I do have. The two of you are alive in her. I see it everyday. Her determination, her dedication, her love…it holds up my whole world. While I don’t want to live in the past, I will not forget it. You are here with me. Perhaps that’s the two of you out there making lights dance in the sky tonight.
I miss you.
Love,
Elsa
Note: I had some input from a couple of friends, which included DaimonLyra. Also, I’m heavily influenced by DaimonLyra’s Frozen Moments. It’s hard for me to separate which of my ideas came from the movies, my own theorizing, and Frozen Moments. DL’s fanfic has incredibly rich details if you have not already read it.